[SS-613] Losing Muscle

[LOSING MUSCLE]

You stare at your old instagram posts. You marvel at your winning form. Your physique sculpted into perfection. Your strong arms. Your proud pectorals. Your ripped mid section. You posed so confidently at the camera. The opponents you had during last year's competition were scared of you. Your girlfriend was constantly jealous at the other women who would flirt with you. But she would worship your body and sex you up, day and night.

You drop your phone. You rub your eyes. You feel that they are a little wet with tears.

You stand up, walk to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You frown at the reflection. While your muscle mass is still big, your cuts can no longer be seen. 

It has been seven months since you got involved in a motorcycle accident. Because of the incident, you incurred a C6-C7 spine injury. It was not very massive but your body became weaker and the physician advised you to stop weightlifting because of the risk of getting paralyzed.

You became depressed. You will no longer be able to compete in bodybuilding events. You became jobless. Your sex became sloppier, and eventually your girlfriend left you for another man.

"You're useless," you murmur at your reflection.

Then a man enters your bathroom, "hey. I just got here. Are you alright?"

You push him aside and walk out, "you know I'm never alright. I'll never be alright."

He follows you, "did you miss your antidepressants again? Please you need to take them regularly so you'll feel better."

"Can you just leave me alone? You keep coming here. I don't need help," you retort.

"Yes you do!" your nerdy lifelong bestfriend argues.

"I'm a fucking mess and an inconvenience, why are you even wasting time to take care of me," you grumble.

"You know why..." he mutters shyly.

"I told you many times over, I have no problem that you're gay. But I'll never like you like that," you reply sternly.

He sobs, "so, you really never want to see me again?" 

"For your sake, please stop wasting your time on me," you respond, your voice a little hopeless.

"Okay. Can I just kiss you, one time? Then I'll disappear. I promise," he requests.

But before you even disagree, he jumps at you and locks lips with you.

You try to pull him away but he was holding on to you tightly.

He forces his tongue in and kisses you with so much passion. It overwhelms you. Nobody has ever wanted you like that, and that long.

You remember how he tutored you through high school and college; how he supported you in all of your competitions; how he lent you money when you were short; how he suggested gifts for your girls and how he selflessly took care of you when you got injured, even when everyone has left.

After a minute, he breaks the kiss and says, "I'm sorry. I just had to do that before I leave."

He turns away.

But you hold his hand to stop him, "wait."

He looks back at you.

"I don't want you to leave. Ever."

You pull him back. You kiss him.