Paramour Act 3

Act III: Expresso Shots

He was seriously gorgeous. That was my first thought when I saw him. Gorgeous and mysterious akward. Like he was some kind of brooding Bruce Wayne loner caught in one of the Joker's clown parade. Which we actually are in: a stupid class A clowning party for a three year old child's birthday.

He was just sitting there, silently observing and looking around. As if he contemplated on nothing and everything at the same time. He was also sipping a Starbucks coffee, maybe some kind of caramel frappe concotion, while wearing a business suit which looked funny considering the clown party we are in.

"Hey Daniel, what are you looking at?" Jennah says, while she lugs her big plate of spaghetti towards me. "You looking at him? He's gorgeous you know?"

"Jen, you know how he fits my bill perfectly." I say as I spin my fork around a handful of spaghetti to eat. "He looks...brooding."

"He's Kris. My hubby's boss. He's always like that, he says. Smart, charming yet brooding and very silent. No bullshit man." She elbows me, making me almost spill my spaghetti. "Want me to introduce him to you?"

"Kinda. Let's see how it goes though first." I stood up and got my plate.

I saw him looking forlorn, looking at the children frolicking and playing around with flimsy colored balloons. He smirked. He sipped, and looked again.

"Hey, mind sharing a table?" I say as I set down my plate. He doesn't seem to notice me, and just mutters a simple hum which I thought was agreement. I proceeded to finish my plate of spaghetti while looking at the sight of a green yard filled of children.

"You know, there this solace about children having fun while we adults think about deeper issues, responsibilities and purposes not fathomable by our child's brains." He says, as he shakes his coffee.

"So you have a child down there, I bet?" 

He laughed. He set down his coffee and pulled out his cellphone to look at the time. "No, I'm not the kind to have a child."

"Then, you're with your girlfriend?"

"Are you fishing for information on my status?" He chuckled, beaming his perfectly white teeth. "Because if you are, I'm single and available."

"So that means, yes I can date you?" I smiled back, and he seemed suprised. His quiet demeanor was broken, and he kinda got lost on this.

"Too forward eh? Didn't even ask if I'm gay or straight."

"Well it's worth a shot. People don't exactly figure me as gay material either."

"Oh come on, you're probably laying with a lot of women and men with that cute face and built body that you have."

"Wow, already checked me out huh? Flattered, and yes I would like to take you out to coffee."

"Haha. Let's see." He offered his hands. "Kris. Kris Magdantay." I shake his hands.

"Daniel. Daniel Lumbrero."

From then on, we started to hang out more. Running, hanging out at his local coffeeshop, talking about books and philosophy and whatnots. He matched my intellect well, and he made me think more.

He made me read books I never read, and made me write more. I had made him run and exercise more too, in return. But then, he made me understand what his situation is. How underrated he really is. How unlovable he feels like. Who Basil is.

Which now is standing in front of me.

“I can’t choose between you two. I love you both.” He said, with his eyes full of confusion. 

“But you can’t choose us both. It’s either me or him.” I said, looking at Basil with seething eyes. And then, looking at a defeated Kris.

“Obviously, it will be me he’ll choose.” Basil retorted, with him gleaming his teeth to me.

“Please say it’s me… you know how much I love you more than this bastard.” I held his hands. He looked at me, and withdrew his.

“I can’t.” Tears suddenly burst his eyes, and I forgot his face right then. I got the ring in my hand, and put it on the table next to his coffee.

“If you can’t choose now, then I’ll never be yours.” Basil put his ring that was hanging on his neck beside mine. We looked at him.

“Choose me now. Or else.” Basil said.

Only but silence. His tears fell, and he couldn't look at us. I picked up my ring and threw it in his face. I walked out. He was nothing.

He wasn’t able to choose. Because he wouldn’t want to hurt another person like that? Because of the fear of hurting? So the recourse was to let us both go even if it hurts like hell? So that the only heart that was to be broken was his?

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He was walking the street, holding his hand. He thought this wouldn't be possible, but it did.

Basil was holding his hand too. And he smiled as his smile shone through the sunlight blazing behind him. He was happy, Basil was happy.

"This marks around the fifth year of our meeting each other." He said, caressing the back of my hand with his fingers which were interlocked in mine. "Do you ever regret it?"

"In some way, yes. I lost someone I loved, and I gained someone who I would love." I let go of his hand and pinched his right cheek. "And that gave me you."

"But we lost him, and god knows how he is right now."

"Well, it was kinda his fault too." He sighed, and nodded in agreement.

"I guess he was an asshole too. But I never thought..."

"That what Basil? That you would end of loving me of all people?"

"Yes, Dan. You. That fucking asswipe who stole my ex." He laughed.

"Speaking of which, do you know what happened to him? To Kris?" 

"I don't. Everyone lost him too that day. He left without word and haven't even been seen ever since."

He began to pull me away, towards that giant ferris wheel over the bay. "We might miss the fireworks, babe." 

I laughed, got dragged and knocked an innocent bystander in the process. "Hey, not too fast."

"Haha, let's go!"

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I've seen them, holding hands. Like the way I've seen them everyday on my mind. The way I got hanged up on having them. Of loving them and losing them. Of both people regretting to know the real me and having the persons who knew who I am leave me. 

And unnecessarily them being in love.

I look at the mirror. My hands grasps them, albeit crushing them a bit.

"This is what you wanted right? This is your dream? This is what you need." I look at myself in the mirror. All I see is something devoid of hope, of purpose.

I take them, one by one.

My visions cloud my eyes. Of bright pulsating colors and the smell of acid burning. Of splotches of white and black, paint spills and frenetic colors.

I feel myself falling, slowly. Seconds drawling in the silence. I feel like floating, behing the throbbing in my head. I feel happy.

I raise my hand towards the sun, and look at the splashes of red in my eyes. Dripping. The sun is crying red tears between my fingers.

I close my eyes. I loved them.